so i went to see 'Curtains' tonight with my friend amanda (not to be confused with my sister... this amanda will be referred to as mandah... she is asian. and goes to MIT. my sister? she's not and she doesn't.)

anyway. in a singular word it was AMAZING.

i absolutely love david hyde pierce... if he weren't gay, i'd say i was going to marry him. but i'm not a man, so obviously not hah. but he was amazing. when i saw 'Spamalot' he had already left the show. and I'm glad i got to see 'Curtains' because it closes in, oh 10 days. They didn't change any of the cast since opening night, so that made me happy.

on a disappointing note though, debra monk wasn't there. that thoroughly upset me. because she's fan-frickin'-tastic. no lie. i was really looking forward to seeing her, but alas, she wasn't in.

but karen ziemba? amazing. she's my new theatre love. she played georgia hendricks, and i thought she was amazing. she's got a fantastic voice, and her dancing was just as amazing. especially considering that she's 50 years old and could still kick her leg above her head.

awesome.

i hope i'm that hardcore when i'm 50 hah.

we took the train in... and then a subway to get to the theatre, so it was the basic city visit. we didn't walk up to 45th street because we wanted to make sure we got there on time to get tickets. to make the night even better, mandah goes up to the window and says

"give us two of your cheapest seats for the night!!"

the guy did... he gave us promo tix. aka we paid $60 a piece for tix that would usually cost about $120. front mezzanine baby. i guess it pays to have a younger guy selling you tickets when you're two teenage girls hahah. so we had awesome seats.

and then on the train ride home, we had a conversation about my major change. and mandah is thoroughly excited that i'm auditioning for a musical theatre major... this is why i love hanging out with friends that i've done music/theatre stuff with, because i feel like they're supportive. and having it come from her (who was an all-state member, and regions, and is a ridiculous dancer, and all that jazz) made it all the more real in my mind that i might be able to get into a school. being out in the city with a friend made me totally forget the crappiness that goes on at home sometimes.

after telling her the only school i knew for certain i was applying to at this time was Montclair she told me that I should still apply to NYU, BU, BoCo, and Carnegie, even though i don't think i have a chance in hell in getting in. then i got yelled at for having bad self-esteem. hah.

so i'm hoping that Ms. Toll gets back to me soon about my audition things. if not, i'm thinking about asking Marguerite (a woman from my church that's a music teacher and directs musicals & does community theatre) to see if there are somethings she can suggest i do while i'm at camp to keep my voice in good condition, or even if i can do a few vocal coaching sessions with her. i'm pretty much willing to do anything right now, because my biggest fear is that i've lost control over my voice. (which i'm told is crazy to think since i sing all the time, even if it's not as structured as being in a musical.) but still, that fear is still always there. and i'm looking into dance studios in the area to see if any of them offer dance classes for people my age who aren't really trained. i'd take ballet, because i'm pretty good in the tap area, but i'm gonna need to build up my flexibility (gotta get back to doing pilates) and my stamina. aka singing while on the stationary bike again. hah. people at the UCC gym must think i'm nuts.

so yeah, the show was Uh-Mazing. i'm pretty sure everytime i see a show, my love gets renewed. when the overture was playing and the curtain hadn't raised yet, i was completely imagining what it must have been like to be backstage at that point. i miss the rush. and i can't wait to start studying, so i can be the best i can be, and then perform for the rest of my life. maybe one day it'll be me on that stage.

i know, overly hopeful.

but it's a big contrast to how i usually see myself.

i'm usually pretty downtrodden and dejected about this kind of stuff, and think i won't be able to do it. i'm glad my optimistic side is kicking in. i think it has a lot to do with the idea that i've decided to ignore my sister.

she made me late for class AGAIN this morning. we have to leave by 7:30 for me to have enough time to get there, park, and then walk across campus to where my class is. i told her that next week if she isn't out at the car by 7:32, i'm leaving without her. then she starts going off on how it really isn't a big deal if i'm a few minutes late, because it's usually a review anyway. even after telling her that he doesn't review at the beginning of class, and we just go right into the lecture, and that it's a big deal to me, because i don't like being late, she refused to see my point.

to make it better?

my mom was sitting at the table through the whole conversation

including my sister telling me i was overreacting about being late:

amanda: it's really not a big deal. you're a few minutes late, whatever.

me: you may not care, but i do.

amanda: oh wow, real nice. right, i don't care about school.

me: that's not what i said. i care about being on time. you don't care about me being on time. so if you're not in the car by 7:32 i'm leaving. you make the choice.

then she started bitching about how i was being mean to her because she couldn't drive. and she was late for class sometimes and she didn't complain. i told her it was because it was her own fault when she was late for her class. i drop her off right in front of her lecture hall. i can't do that for myself. i have to park and walk through the commons, nomahegan hall, and up three flights of stairs to the library classrooms. she just doesn't give a crap about anyone other than herself.

she eventually stomped off after i somehow "insulted her integrity" by telling her she didn't care about school. (which i didn't.) i really wanted to say "yeah, if you really cared that much, you wouldn't have dropped chem last semester at Montclair. and you would have graduated by now. and maybe you'd have a job. and would already have an internship set up for the fall."

but i knew that would just get me in trouble.

but for once, my mom actually supported me. usually she just stays out of arguments between me and amanda, because they can get ugly. but i stayed calm, because i knew i was in the right, and there was no way that she could make me into the bad guy. and despite her best efforts, i was happy with the way it turned out. i got my sister pissed off because she realized it was an argument she couldn't win.

score one point for rachel.


so tomorrow i'm headed to binghamton. i'm driving with my brother, ben, and my brother-in-law, adam. should be fun. there's a possibility that i'm going to have to take amanda too, but she's getting dropped off at my sister sarah's house in east stroudsburg. so it's not like i have to deal with her all weekend haha. but anyway, we're babysitting for my 2 nieces & nephew while my oldest sister tasha & her husband jason go to a wedding. and their relay for life is tomorrow!

i'm especially excited about that part.

especially since it rained during ours, so we didn't even get to go.

i told adam that i'd be nice in the car and i wouldn't put on any musical soundtracks. i figure i'll just play maroon 5 & jimmy eat world. i know he likes jimmy eat world, and if he doesn't like maroon 5, then whatever. i love them, so he'll just have to suck it up. hah

while i'm there, i have to write a paper on what i learned about schizophrenia, presented from the standpoint of Carl Jung.

fun.

and i have to read chapters for my concepts of adult wellness class. but that won't be difficult. just reading, highlighting, and answering the critical thinking questions. and writing down the answers to the multiple choice questions at the end of the chapter. the answers are in the back of the book. sweet.

but yeah, i just love musicals so much that it completely erased from my mind that i loathe my sister. she apparently "didn't know" i was going into the city tonight. even though she definetly knew hah. because when i told her i was going into the city to see 'Curtains' she got all pissy that i was going with a friend and she wasn't invited. i wanted to be like.

"uhh, yeah, because you have $60.

which i'm pretty sure she doesn't by the way.

so yes, my night was fabulous. and i'm looking forward to a fabulous weekend. spent with hannah, grace, & jake. and the relay for life tomorrow. and no amanda for the weekend. and maybe i'll get some more writing done. and i'm seeing a possibility of pizza in my future. and camp just keeps getting closer. and the fact that my dreams of musical theatre as a career keep getting closer makes me feel even more amazing.

i love it.