so it's technically monday the 6th, meaning i'm technically leaving for Camp today!!!

it's usually impossible for me to sleep the day before leaving for camp. last year i absolutely passed out because i was so exhausted. i basically finished packing excepts for a few things that i can't pack until the morning. i'm thinking it's doubtful that i'll get any quality sleep tonight. and that's okay, because i'll read, and i'll probably stay awake in the car due to coffee and helping Ben stay awake (even though he's been asleep for quite some time now). and then i'll be able to sleep tomorrow night, er, Monday night. whatever you consider that, today or tomorrow. in any case, that'll be necessary since i'll have to wake up on Tuesday to do the whole breakfast thing and then be ready to be picked up from Camp around noon for Canada. and then it's MORE time in the car.

it's like i love punishing myself.

but at least there will be a good amount of people in the car, and as far as i know, there's not anyone i don't like hahah. so yeah.

Camp always has this kind of serene effect on me. While at the same time, it's amazingly stimulating. The people and just the experiences that I associate with Camp are some of the dearest things for me. I know I've made friends that will stay my friends forever. it's gonna be a bittersweet summer, but i'm not going to let things bum me out. even though after this summer i know Camp will probably be different, i'm not going to let that fact effect a great summer.

I'm also hopeful about this Mission Trip. I mean, it's gonna be a great way to clear my head and just think. Maybe sneak away for a few minutes and write in my journal and just meditate on everything going on in my life right now. there are so many things swimming around in my head that i can never reason out or even really think about intently because there's always something going on. a phone ringing, or an e-mail to answer, or something to do around the house. and Camp offers an escape from all of that. and i'm going to assume that the Mission is going to let you leave a lot of that behind to. as much as people are so dependent on technology (myself included) it's great to just get away from it. No tv, one computer with a decent connection where you can check your e-mail once a day if you're extremely lucky, and shoddy cell reception unless you're up on the railroad ties, or maybe on the top bunk in a counselor's room if you're lucky and at the top of the hill. but i don't mind nearly as much as a lot of other people would. it's nice to get away from it and be almost unreachable.

it gives you a little bit of your life back i think.

maybe that's another reason why camp is so refreshing. i'm able to get out of the "real" world. the world of busy streets and bustling people and just listen to nature and the sounds of everything.

i probably sound insane, but i'm in that zone where i'm tired but can't sleep, so you tend to rant about things that might not make sense to other people.

i'm going to read for a bit, before attempting to sleep again.

it'll be quite some time until i write again, seeing as i'll be gone until around August 10th. it's time to take a break from everything.